Serve Yourself to Serve Others.

In our fast-paced, often demanding world, the call to serve others can be overwhelming, especially for those who have faced significant adversity. To effectively serve others, one must first prioritize self-care and personal well-being. This is one of the themes that came up in my latest conversation on N.O.W. - No Opportunity Wasted with the trailblazing Ceyenne Doroshow. Her story exemplified the importance of this principle for marginalized communities, including Black women and trans individuals, who frequently find themselves navigating the complexities of their identities while still trying to uplift everybody else around them.

The notion of "making a dollar out of 15 cents" encapsulates the resourcefulness and resilience often required of Black, brown, disabled, queer and trans communities. Many feel compelled to provide support and assistance to others, even when they themselves are grappling with their own struggles and trauma. This instinct to serve is commendable, but it can lead to burnout and emotional depletion if self-care is neglected. The analogy of putting on an oxygen mask before assisting a child serves as a poignant reminder that without addressing our own needs, we cannot effectively support those around us.

Ceyenne and I also discussed the distinction between religion and spirituality, emphasizing the importance of finding a personal spiritual practice that nurtures the soul. For myself and for Ceyenne, Buddhism became a source of grounding and strength. This exploration of spirituality is vital, especially for folks who may have experienced disconnection from traditional religious practices due to trauma or alienation. By centering oneself and cultivating a personal spiritual practice, you can create a sanctuary that fosters healing and resilience.

Find or create community spaces that affirm and support ALL of your identities. Cayenne’s creation of the "Church of Affirmation" signifies a transformative step towards establishing inclusive environments that honor the diverse experiences of trans individuals and others within the community. Such spaces not only provide a sense of belonging but also serve as a platform for collective healing and empowerment.

As Cayenne continued to reflect on her journey, it becomes clear that serving others is intertwined with the commitment to one's own well-being. The desire to create a nurturing environment—complete with gold ceilings and chandeliers—symbolizes the importance of beauty and dignity in the lives of those who have often been overlooked. These gestures of care and attention to detail reflect a broader understanding of what it means to serve: it is not merely about providing resources but also about honoring the worth and humanity of every individual.

However, we also raised important questions about boundaries and readiness. In working with vulnerable populations, it is essential to establish standards for entry while remaining compassionate towards those who may not yet be prepared for the support being offered to them. This balance requires sensitivity and understanding, recognizing that healing is a journey that varies for each individual.

This conversation served as a powerful reminder of the importance of honoring and remembering our community. Through shared grief, resilience, and the audacity to create spaces for marginalized voices, we can ensure that the legacies of those who have come before us continue to inspire and guide future generations. As we celebrate the lives of individuals like Cecilia Gentile, let us commit to keeping their memories alive, advocating for justice, and fostering a community where every voice is heard and valued. In doing so, we not only honor their legacy but also pave the way for a more inclusive and compassionate future. The journey toward empowerment is not a solitary path; it is a collective endeavor that thrives on the strength of community and the resilience of its members. By prioritizing self-care and nurturing our own well-being, we can better serve others, creating a ripple effect of healing and support that uplifts us all. Get your questions and comments ready and Join me LIVE Monday nights at 7pm/10pm ET for N.O.W. - No Opportunity Wasted streaming to Substack & Youtube.com/MissRoss